The Book of Not: The Book of The Story

Well, I had a word but I seem to have lost it. Give me a moment to find it. Oh, there it is. You were stepping on it. It is a nice word really you shouldn't disrespect words like that. They can be helpful sometimes. This is a good word. It is "son". This particular word is sharp and cuts my finger when I use it. I try to be careful but when I use it it cuts me. Other people can use it, and it doesn't hurt them, but I guess I never learned to use it properly.

See, I had a son. Owww. See I am bleeding from it. Well anyway I had one that I made all by myself. Ok I had help since this wasn't the kind you make with your teeth. That isn't a proper son (ouch). This was the kind you make by rolling over on top of your wife and fucking until you explode. It is messy but it feels good to explode like that. I haven't been able to explode for a long time.

I remember one time when I rolled onto my wife and fucked her. Well that isn't right. There was another word for it. Fuck is a prickly word with little sharp spines on it and that wasn't what we did. Made love is what we did. Well we didn't actually make love, we just picked ours up and pushed it around a bit. And then we were done and laid there. In the sun. I remember the sun too. Sun used to be a warm bright word but now it hurts me too. Now it burns.

Well, I said to my wife (Did I mention I had a wife? She was a good wife, but not like the wives of today. She was different kind of wife since we didn't have weddings then. I just said "Hey God! I like her - can I have her?" Well OK I didn't say that I said "[unable to write the sounds just made - grunts and howls mixed with some almost recognizable phonetic sounds]" but I was being polite and speaking your language. It isn't my language - I don't have one but I am borrowing it from you and I promise to take very good care of it and I will return it when I am done.) So I said to my wife that it was fun and she said we were going to have a child. We of course is a relative term here since I wasn't going to personally have the child - she was and we didn't actually know that men were necessary to create one at that time. Men are still not necessary to create a child but the mess is and well making a mess alone is just no fun but I don't know if two women could make the same kind of mess and make a baby and then would they both make a baby? Well, I don't remember and since I can't make a mess anymore since I am dead, it doesn't matter really does it?

Well, I know fat isn't the right word (the problem with borrowing your language is that I always lose the right words and then I find them later but by then I have substituted another word in it's place and the word can't fit there anymore.), but boy was my wife fat. I thought she would burst. This was upsetting because if she burst all her insides would be out and then I wouldn't be able to see her outsides anymore and I liked them. But she kinda burst - well the baby burst out and there he was all red and bloody (I think I am hungry come here for a moment please..).

[I think I have just been eaten from...]

and then we cleaned him and showed him to God and it was really cool and neat and even my mother liked him (She didn't like me but there is no accounting for taste).

Then I did a bad thing. There was a really pretty woman who only came out at night and I liked her and she liked me and suggested that I come and make a mess with her. Fuck, really. No good warm softness. Just the little prickles. But exploding feels good so I went. And she drank, well slurped up from my body blood while I exploded into her. It felt twice as good as it did with my wife, but she said we couldn't make any babies, so I left because I like babies. Like my son (ow)

So I went home to my wife and baby but she yelled at me and kicked me because I fucked the other woman and she made me mad so I went back to other woman who only came out at night and she laughed at me. She pinned me down with her gaze like a butterfly under a pin. I collected butterflies for a while but when I pulled the pins out they wouldn't get up and fly away and it made me sad.

She drank everything that made me me and then she laughed again. Then she drooled right into my mouth and it was disgusting. Have you ever seen Saint Bernard drool. Not the dog, I mean Saint Bernard himself who drooled and it was really gross, you know. He was eating dinner and slobbering every where, but this is before Saint Bernard. Before the word saint even. I went all black and warm and I saw God for the first and last time and He looked sad and I waved to him and he said He loved me but had to let me go. And then everything went red and I was HUNGRYHUNGRYHUNGRYHUNGRY.

When I was hungry I always went to my wife because she knew how to make food taste good for me so I went home but food was no good and so I ate her. And I was still hungryhungryhungryhungry. So I ate my son (owwie).

And it is a good thing that I am not the me who did this because that me was very sad and wanted to run away and would be crying but there are no tears left only blood and it makes me sad to know that I did that even I if am not me anymore.

And God cried too that night when I spoke to Him, and He was mad at me and turned His back and then I became the new me since the old me died and went away and then came back and rotted in my soul and now the new me is still here but so is the old one rotting in the corner and he/me is very sad all the time. I like to think that God will like the new me since I didn't eat my wife or son (ouch) and I am a good boy and don't make anyone dead who doesn't want to be and I help everyone see the truth for what it is and maybe He won't be mad anymore and he won't turn His back on me.

I think I have to go now, because the old me is moving around in the corner and I think I want to go find a kitten to play with since they are cute and warm although not as nice as moving love around with a wife and....

[He got up and disappeared at this point although murmurs from the corner were still audible.]

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