The Book of Not: The Book of Songs

{This song is one which most Malkavian neonates seem to know, and is sung to a common Sunday School song: "Rise and Shine and Give God the Glory."}

Malkav told Caine: "You're stupid and lazy lazy!"
Malkav told Caine: "You're stupid and lazy lazy!"
Caine told Malkav (CLAP!): "Now you're crazy crazy!"
Children of Malkav...Oh!

{This is one common myth about the origin of the Malkavians. Rarely outside the clan is it told with such brevity.}

Toreador, they're painting, they're painting a dream-y dream-y
Toreador, they're painting, they're painting a dream-y dream-y
Paint it so well, (CLAP!) gives me heebie-jeebies
Children of Malkav...Oh!

{This is a fairly rare admission that the Toreador may be very near to something the Malkavians consider very important. A common element of this "something" is vision; think back to how often Malkavians have told you to "open your eyes." or "wake up."}

Brujah, they built them, they built them anarchy archy
Brujah, they built them, they built them anarchy archy
Now up the wrong tree (CLAP!) they barky barky
Children of Malkav...Oh!

{The Brujah already have the anarchy they crave, according to this passage.}

No-oh Sferatu, they hide in the sewers sewers
No-oh Sferatu, they hide in the sewers sewers
Ugly bastards (CLAP!) but they give nice tours
Children of Malkav...Oh!

{The division of "Nosferatu" seems to be rhythmic in nature. In general, I think this is just another affirmation of the inexplicable affinity between the Malkavians and the Nosferatu.}

Tremere, he played with, he played with blood magic magic
Tremere, he played with, he played with blood magic magic
Now Tremere's dead (CLAP!) it's so tragic tragic
Children of Malkav...Oh!

{There is, of course no proof that Tremere is actually dead. And, there is, of course, no proof that the word "dead" here means anything of what we think it does. This verse stands on it's own.}

Ventrue, when they eat, they eat so so picky picky
Ventrue, when they eat, they eat so so picky picky
Doesn't matter (CLAP!) Blood is icky icky
Children of Malkav...Oh!

{A subtle jab at the "useless"ness of the Ventrue. You don't see too many Malkavians willing to work at making the Camarilla work, though, do you?}

Gangrel, you're running, you're running in the country country
Gangrel, you're running, you're running in the country country
After they freak out (CLAP) they look so funky funky
Children of Malkav...Oh!

{"Freak out" =? "Frenzy"? "Funky" =? "animal-like"? Perhaps this verse was inserted later---the second person case structure doesn't really fit.}

Kindred, oh, Kindred, you're headed for Gehenna henna
Kindred, oh, Kindred, you're headed for Gehenna henna
You back away like (CLAP!) you're trained by B. F. Skinner
Children....Oooofffff....Malkaaaaaaaaaaaaav!

{What do they suggest? That we welcome the end of the world in with open arms? (The aversion therapy reference is very telling.)}

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