The Book of Not: The Book of Storyies

1. And it came to pass that in 1958 in Rio de Janeiro a cargo ship docked in the night.
2. And it was in the cargo hold that a steamer trunk lay.
3. And it did open and disgorge three Malkavians, as Groucho's trunk did in "A Night at the Opera."
4. [And so they will be called Chico, Harpo and Alan]
5. And Chico did tell a dockworker to come with them, as they were hungry. [And the dockworker, he did come.]
6. And Harpo did steal some bicycles from the street. [And yea, the bicycles did have large bells on the handlebars.]
7. And Alan did toss a grenade into the engine of the cargo ship. [And there were many divers alarums.]
8. And they did ride the streets of Rio like the parking attendants from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off." [Excepting that they had more bells and very little John Williams music.]
9. And yea, they did stop at a nightclub.
10. And yea, the prince of Rio did summon them with many thugs who looked like Jimmy Cagney.
11. And they did visit the prince, who looked like the Mexican guy in "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid." [And the prince did not wear plaid. Amen.]
12. And the prince did say: "What brings you loonies to my city?"
13. And Alan did say: "Where are my pajamas?"
14. And Chico did say: "A race."
15. And Harpo did say: "A bicycle ding ding!"
16. And the prince did say "A race?" [For the prince was old and wily and knew that Alan was wearing his pajamas and that bicycles cannot cross the ocean. Listen well to the wisdom of the other clans.]
17. And Chico did tell the story of the Great Race
18. "
    In 1814 we took a little trip
    The Colonel told us London was the place to be
    So long city life
    London was fun
    But we were there for a reason
    The reason for the season
    Was a race
    The Great Race
    Organized by a Tortillador
    There was a Race
    With a Great Prize
    A large Herd
    A small Princedom
    But most importantly
    A cubic zirconium necklace worth well over five dollars.
    The race was a trip around the world
    And three from each clan were chosen
    From the Tremulous, Larry, Moe and Curly
    From the Ventricle, Hitler, Hirohito and Mussolini
    From the Gangbangrel, Kerouac, Burroughs and Ginsberg
    From the Brujahaha, ABC, CBS and NBC
    From the Notforyoutojudge, the Father, the Sun and the Holy Simolean
    And from the Tortilliador, Pancho, Cisco and the Lone Ranger
    And we, we were sent from the Malfabrications."
19. The prince did shake his head and did say "This was in 1814?"
20. "Aye," Chico did say. "Aye think therefore the ayes have it."
21. The prince did say "But is not the race over, then?" [For the prince was {UNTRANSLATABLE}]
22. And Harpo said "Jesus, look at the time!"
23. And Chico said "Jesus isn't here."
24. And Alan said "You're right."
25. And Chico said "We gotta find him."
26. And Harpo said "He isn't here."
27. And Alan said "We can't be here right now."
28. And Chico said "Bye."
29. And they did cross the Andes by frog.

1. And it came to pass that in Beijing in 1968 a plane landed at night.
2. And three Malkavians got off the plane, like Bergman in "Casablanca" running backwards.
3. [And so we will call them Bogart, Usual Suspect and Namgreb.]
4. And Usual Suspect hailed a rickshaw and told the rickshaw driver to leave.
5. And the rickshaw driver left.
6. And Usual Suspect pulled the rickshaw with Bogart and Namgreb into the city.
7. And in the same city was Curly the Tremere, who had hunted high and low for the losers of the Race.
8. And Curly stood before them and Curly shook her head and said "You have lost."
9. And Bogart said "Nice to see you too, Curly."
10. And Curly said "My name is Vivian."
11. And Usual Suspect said "Okay, Vivian. See you at the finish line."
12. And Curly said "There is no finish line. The race has been over for 150 years."
13. And Namgreb said "If there is no finish line, how can we be finished?"
14. And Curly said "You have lost. You can stop running."
15. And Bogart said "We may have lost, but you are lost."
16. And Usual Suspect said "Do you know where you're going?"
17. And Namgreb said "Because we sure as hell do."
18. And Curly stamped her foot and said "But the race is over."
19. And Bogart said "But not the running of the race."
20. And Namgreb said "Running."
21. And Usual Suspect said "Run!
22. And Curly ran. And Usual Suspect ran, dragging Bogart and Namgreb behind him/her/it.

Think on this:

Travel Time (London to London, 1814)

Tremere: 114 days

Ventrue: 117 days

Gangrel; 120 days

Nosferatu: 125 days

Toreador: 127 days

Brujah: 136 days

And somewhere in the world
Three people run
And fly
And ride
And float
And sail
And drive
A meandering path across a planet
They are nearly 200 years late
They can no longer finish
Because there is no finish line
But they have direction
They have each other
And they have a horizon that smiles a broad curved smile on their drunken path
Who has won the race?

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