The Book of Not: The Book of Understanding

Bugs Bunny and Sam Von Schamm (the Hessian) are at war, during the Revolution. They oppose each other in two large forts. Suddenly, the door of Sam's fort flies open, and he bellows "Charrrge!", rushing towards Bugs' fort, waving his sword wildly. Bugs throws open the door of his fort, screams "Charrrge!" and rushes towards Sam's fort. Sam lowers Bugs' flag and raises his. Bugs' lowers Sam's flag and raises his. Sam looks in astonishment across no man's land at Bug's new fort. Enraged, he rushes back across, again again screaming "Charrrge!". Bugs again does the same, rushing back to his fort, screaming "Charrrge!". Sam tries the same strategy again, but this time Bugs puts a cannon in the entrance to his fort, and Sam runs into it, and is blown up.

Sam loads a cannonball into his cannon and fires it. Bugs moves his cannon directly in front of the cannonball and catches it, applauding and cheering Sam's accuracy. He fires the ball back, and it lands in Sam's cannon. Sam grumbles mightily and rushes his cannon down to the other end of the fort, and fires again. Bugs quickly moves his cannon in front of Sam's again, catching it in the barrel again, applauding again. He fires the ball back into Sam's cannon, then quickly fires a bathtub plug back, too, blocking Sam's barrel. Sam fires his cannon, but nothing happens: when he goes around to the front and tugs on the plug to release it, he is blown up.

Sam lights the fuse to a bomb and throws it at Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny produces a baseball bat and cap and hits the bomb back at Sam. Sam produces a baseball glove and yells "I got it! I got it!" and chases after it. When he catches the bomb, he is blown up.

Sam finally admits, "I'm a Hessian, without any aggression."

Germany Schaefer was a ballplayer at the turn of the century. At one point during a baseball game, he was on first and another man was on third. He flashed the sign for a double steal. In a double steal, Schaefer runs to second, and the man on third waits until the catcher tries to throw Schaefer out at second, and then comes home.

The pitcher threw the ball, and with a whoop and a holler, screaming like mad, Schaefer tore down the basepaths towards second, with a mighty slide at the end. It was unnecessary: the catcher held the ball to keep the run from scoring, allowing Schaefer to take second. Schaefer brushed himself off. The ball was thrown back to the pitcher.

The pitcher wound up. Schaefer suddenly screamed "Let's try it again, boys!" and starts wildly racing for first again. The entire ballpark is stunned. What the heck is he doing? He makes a tremendous slide into first, and stands up and nonchalantly brushed himself off.

The pitcher wound up. Schaefer let out an Indian war-whoop and went wildly down the path towards second again. By this time the catcher was so confused that he hesitated, then made the throw to second: the man on third came home safe, and Schaefer was safe at second.

People talk to their dogs, even though they know their dogs do not understand a word they say.

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