Pranklympics: Part Greeks at Marathon

Yes, kiddies, it's that time again. It's time for Sadistic Malkavian Pranks! Loone and I have decided to share with you some of our exploits and ideas from our roamings across the years. That's right, you too can be a sick bastard if you just follow these instructions. So sit back and enjoy!

Disclaimer: High levels of Dominate, Obfuscate, Vissectitude, and Dementate are highly suggested. 'Course, a good amount of Potence, Fortitude, and Celerity never hurt anyone. Well, not us anyway...

1. Cut off the hands of Koko the gorilla (the one that uses sign language).

2. Turn an entire hotel in Las Vegas into Elvis lookalikes. Give them all an intense hatred of Elvis.

3. Go to a parachuting school. Replace parachutes with beach blankets.

4. Turn a good number of the Secret Service into clones of the President. Convince them that they really are.

5. Nab a barber and replace him/her. Give unique haircuts. Use pruning shears and a chainsaw.

6. Blow up the supports of the Eiffel Tower. (Really irritates the Toreador and the French.)

7. Switch smoke grenades with real grenades at an Army Reserve drill session.

8. Sneak live ordnance into magazines before a MILES gear exercise.

9. Kill every lawyer who has an ad on TV. (Actually, this should go under the heading of Public Service...)

10. Change headings of major newspaper to read "Prince ________ Molests Bass!" (Thanks to v.a.l. for the inspiration on that one...)

11. Release and heavily arm inmates of a maximum security prison.

12. Stage a public hanging. Have the public trial five minutes later. Have hangees make arguments in their defense. (Be sure to have live news teams present...)

13. Massacre an entire radio station. Call police and announce on the air that a certain song is never to be played again. Punish transgressors. (The song was 'Basketcase'. It let out too many Clan secrets...)

14. Crash a live-televised awards show. Have fun and act like a Brujah.

15. In New York, get a vendor stand. Sell hot dogs with fingers and penises in them.

-Peg Leg Pete, wondering what "committed" means...

Back to the Prank Locker Table of Contents