[Seven years bad luck is a cheap price to pay for the ability to see more than one reflection of your soul.] Pranklympics: Part Buddhist Monk

Welcome back everyone. Yes, we have finally reached the 200th Prank Special of the Pranklympics. First off, I would like to thank the people who made this possible... (and no, these are not accusations...): v.a.l. aka Mercy, Chris and Mr. Bunny, Jason D. "IWTV Sucked" Corley, and my roommate and Cap'n--Matthew Hendrickson. Thanks all. now on with the show...

187. Go to an art class at night school. Cut off everyone's right ear.

188. Assassinate a big city mayor. Continue doing this until no one runs for office. Bonus points for having each new mayor killed in a different manner.

189. Go watch "Under Siege" with some friends. Then go off Steven Segal and do it right.

190. Go gay bashing: beat the piss out of everyone with a smile on their face. (Thought ya had me, didn't ya?)

191. Mosh pit. Carefully concealed personal tazer. Hours of entertainment.

192. Get one of those super slingshot water balloon launchers. Go to a chicken farm. Reveal to them the secrets of flight.

193. Find one of those Carnival luxury cruise ships. Head way north. See how far along cruiseships have come in terms of safe boat abandonment since the Titanic.

194. Commandeer a C-5 Galaxy transport plane. Raid a car dealership. Play Santa Clause form high altitude. (Thanks v.a.l.)

195. Once again, sneak into a zoo at night. Spraypaint all the primates neon purple and dress a hippo in a pink tutu and ballerina slippers with some superglue.

196. Hydrochloric acid. Super Soaker 2000. Law School.

197. Find a flag burner. Torch 'em and ask how _he_ likes it.

198. Get a steamroller. Have someone turbo-charge it. Go to a carnival and see how many smears you can make. Bonus points for dumb-ass mimes and clowns.

199. Get some friends and dress up like soldiers form Santa Anna's army. Take back the Alamo from those rebellious Texans.

200. * Special Offer Below *

201. Dress up like Confederate soldiers. Storm the White House and kick out the Yankee aggressors.

202. Get a cement truck. Cement over the "Walk of Stars". Bonus points for snagging pedestrians.

203. Go to a cemetery and find some fresh graves. Grab some limbs and other body parts. Now find a museum with some old statues. Replace any missing parts and limbs with superglue and pilfered corpse pieces.

204. (This one's for you Matt...) Go to France with a dufflebag full of Bic razors. Enforce armpit shaving among the women.

205. Get some friends and dress up like Robin Hood and his Merry Band. Hijack armored cars and give all the money to the homeless. See how many keep it and get arrested.

206. On live TV, disembowel yourself and give a Roy Rogers lasso show with your small intestine.

207. Dress up in a dog suit. Froth your mouth with shaving cream. Beat the piss out of every employee in the post office. Make sure you bits all the mail-carriers on the butt.

208. (Only for the truly life-defying vamps... or something like that...) Locate and steal a nuclear warhead. (It may be best to import on this part...) Find a hippie commune. Decorate the warhead with peace slogans and superglue the hippies to the warhead. Call the authorities and demand global disarmament.

209. Find one of those silly dude ranches. Dress up with some buddies like Injuns. You know what to do by now...

210. Get a _lot_ of friends. Go to Scotland. Dress up like Highlanders with kilts and swords. Storm over Hadrian's Wall and punish the invaders to the south.


And now a SPECIAL OFFER ! If you can guess the word association that led to the name of each Pranklympic, you will receive via e-mail the special 200th prank! That's right, act now, operators are standing by! Here are the names of the Pranklympics, in order. And yes, I changed some of the names. Blea!
  • Part Greeks at Marathon
  • Part Also
  • Part Twelve Copies of War and Peace
  • Part Golfer Etiquette
  • Part Triple Gainer
  • Part Roman Orgy
  • Part Viking Raider
  • Part Gestapo
  • Part Buddhist Monk

Yep, that's all of them. Well, I'm off to start compiling the Prankthology. If anyone has any prank ideas or has heard of any pranks, long or short, please send them my way with credit given to be put into the monstrous Prankthology. Hopefully I will have it completed by the end of the semester and circulated. Thanks for hangin' with these and see y'all later.

-Peg Leg Pete, "and on the seventh day He rested... until the Cowboys came on..."

Back to the Prank Locker Table of Contents