Pranklympics: Part Stop, Drop, and Roll

269. Find one of those cement/concrete cutting machines. Use it to carve insults to the Prince in front of town hall. Now find some of his ghouls (or herd) and leave your initials using their limbs.

270. Grow your hair long, put on a loincloth, and procure a mule's jawbone. No go to a synagogue and accuse them of slander. Give 'em the real story. Use the jawbone and unsuspecting Jews for illustration.

271. Get a lot of alcohol and grab some mortals. No go to a dog kennel and get violently plastered with them, making sure to save a little for the next day. When you next wake with your new buddies, 'convince' them to get a bit 'of the hair of the dog that bit them'.

272. Paint a large red bulls-eye on a building one night. On the next night, burn that building down. Continue this, eventually targeting favored locations of Primogen members. Now start painting and burning their ghouls and herd. Finally paint a Primogen member. On the next night, while his paranoia runs rampant, hijack a fire truck. Now drive it through his haven and proceed to hose him down. Throw lit matches at him and laugh.

273. Find some kids playing marbles. Use one of your eyes. Deny it.

274. Superglue some frat boys together side by side and fleshcraft them into looking like the Mt. Rushmore Presidents.

275. Find the director/producer of 'First Knight' and beat him. Severely. (Sorry, a little Public Service Announcement snuck in there...)

276. Go to a popular Kindred hangout with a few friends. Bring some toasters and a lot of Pop Tarts (frosted are the best). Now scare the piss out of everyone with Pop Tart flame-throwers. Projectile launching is purely optional. (Thanks to Dave Barry for this one.)

277. Go to McDonald's. Bring back the barter and haggling system. Two dead chickens and a few live rats ought to be at least worth a Big Mac with some fries.

278. Find someone who loves Oreos. Sneak in one night and lick all of the filling off of each cookie. Now replace the missing filling with Elmer's Glue.

279. Find a solitary vampire that fears werewolves. Sneak into his haven while he's away and paint a werewolf face on his bathroom mirror. Next night, scatter lupine teeth, claws, and hair about the house. (Fur clogging the sink and shower drain are nice additions.) Get some friends to howl around his house before he goes to sleep for the day. Keep this up for a few days. Then approach him in friendship (heh, heh) and present him with a wolfskin rug. Tell him it belonged to a werewolf you killed. On the next night, sneak into his house and scrunch yourself into the wolf rug and Obfuscate. Wait 'til he wakes up the next night and walks past the rug. Then jump up and give him a good kick in the behind while snarling and growling. (Bonus points if he passes out.) Run away snarling and slobbering in the rug (after all, you did kill the werewolf, eh?). The next night, dress up in the wolfskin rug and go find the vampire. After he quits screaming and trying to run away, tell him it was all a joke. Give him back the rug. If he takes it well, remember his name for the "sucker" list. If he takes it poorly, do this... Get some friends and find a solitary werewolf. Subdue it. Now drag it to the vamp's house just before he gets back. Then cut up wolfboy so that it will take a few minutes for him to regenerate, stuff him in the wolf rug, and run like hell.

-Peg Leg Pete, Prankthology, Part Six of Five coming soon... maybe...

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