Pranklympics: Part No Offisher, Habn't Had A Ting To Drenk

Now the Pranklympics have a new home! Yes, that's right, I finally got my lazy butt around to setting up a webpage for my pranks. The URL is: http://people.unt.edu/~jmayall/prank_locker/pranklst.htm. Pretty soon I ought to have the entire Prankthology up and running, too. Speaking of which, another version of that will be coming soon-- so despair not, you who've sent me submissions. Two other great sites that host these pranks are Erehwon's Malkavian Page (http://www.nauticom.net/users/erehwon/) and Jason Corley's Book of Not ftp site (ftp://chronic.lpl.arizona.edu/pub/booknot/malkavians/). Check 'em out.

And now, a public service announcement: Read anything by Hunter S. Thompson. Now.

Now, back to our show.

335. Sneak into a liquor store. Put Ozarka Spring Water in all the vodka bottles.

336. Go muddin'. In a souped-up bulldozer. (Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!) In the Prince's house.

337. Find a city election. Replace the worker who checks voter ID cards. 'Suggest' to everyone that they write in your favorite candidate. Feign surprise when the Prince is elected mayor.

338. Rob a jewelry store. Try and sell the merchandise back to them the next night at cheap rates.

339. Obfuscate and give a 'hot foot' to a Tremere during a ritual. Somewhere around the word 'Niktu' is usually good.

340. Find a Gangrel who frenzies a lot. And enjoys showing off his feline features. Nab 'im one night and fleshcraft all of his kitty features into rodent ones.

341. Dominate some cowboys into riding into a bar on horses, lassoing a certain Brujah, and hog-tying him with duct tape. Obfuscate and watch the show with a camcorder.

342. Follow some boyscouts on a weekend camping trip. While Obfuscated, sneak a bunch of marijuana into their camp fire.

343. Sneak into an Italian restaurant. Find the sauce pot and replace the mushrooms with 'shrooms.

344. Find one vampire who maintains a mortal life. Now go cut off one of his hands and run like hell. One night, go shoot the police commissioner and use the hand to leave fingerprints all over the gun and the crime scene. Go tip off the donut-boys.

345. Get on an airplane. Now (using Mask of a 1000 Faces), go to the bathroom every ten minutes and come out as someone completely different. Bonus points if the passenger next to you checks into a loony bin upon landing.

346. Give noogies. With a pumice stone.

347. Switch a Tzimisce's homeland dirt with cow manure.

348. File an extra income tax return for that local Giovanni entrepreneur. Be a good citizen and make sure those audits are thorough. Helping out by returning the Gios 'misplaced' receipts is optional.

349. Spray-paint a horse white and ride it nekkid past a Catholic church for a while. Keep leading any spectators back to the Tremere chantry.

350. With bonecraft, give that aspiring Baali some real horns.

351. Give the local Salubri a few extra eyes to help camouflage it from those pesky Tremere.

352. Dominate a local history professor into teaching the Book of Nod. Bonus points to the one who can do this the longest without getting discovered.

353. Learn Vic... ummm... learn Fleshcrafting and open a lucrative plastic surgery practice.

354. Follow a couple on a vacation. Make sure to be Obfuscated in each photo (naked is optional).

355. Using Dementate, drive everyone in a loony bin into sanity.

356. Give that aspiring Toreador artiste a hand before his upcoming show. Lop off an ear and superglue a fake goatee to him. Dominate him into thinking everything is normal.

357. Combining Horrid Form and Obfuscate, follow a live news team around and make cameos. Holding a sign stating "Price _______ molests cows" is, as usual, optional.

358. Attend sporting events with a high-powered sniper rifle and a prejudice against blimps. (No, no, not fat people...)

359. Fleshcrafting. Involuntary breast enlargement on males.

360. Carry around a Shop-Vac when visiting that clever Gangrel who likes Mist Form so much.

-Peg Leg Pete, well past dry

Remember, send prank ideas to Erehwon for the Prankthology. And $5 wouldn't be out of line, come to think of it.

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