Pranklympics: Part Twelve Copies of War & Peace

38. Dress up as Colonial Marines. Designate all city officials as 'Aliens'. Save the Earth.

39. Turn entire petting zoo into vampires. Have ghoul videotape children's faces as their favorite animals spontaneously combust.

40. Go into music store. Break CDs and eat them. Puke up bloody bits on the salespeople.

41. Go to amusement park. Shoot one parent in every couple with children.

42. Replace a plastic surgeon. With fleshcrafting, give them more than their money's worth.

43. Dominate leading NASA spokesman into having a press conference to tell the public that UFOs and aliens exist. Provide him with fun photos and sketches.

44. Dress up as Crusaders and kill all non-white males, screaming "Kill the heathens! Death to all non-believers!"

45. Poison the coffee and donuts in a shop that most police frequent. Start a riot the next night. (Free inmates only if the riot sucks.)

46. Steal a major stash of cocaine. Have ghouls hand out to children at elementary school.

47. (Only for the most enterprising of pranksters...) Steal a mobile artillery piece. Renovate the slums. Park the piece in the Prince's yard. Leave the state.

48. Sneak into a mall. Switch all merchandise between Victoria's Secret and Dillard's Men's Department.

49. Spear pedestrians with self-propelled marlins.

50. Hack into a major TV uplink. Give a unique State of the Union Address looking like Bill. No, make that Hillary...

51. Put anti-Toreador graffiti all over the Hoover Dam.

52. Skin a skinhead.

53. Go to an animal rights activist meeting wearing fur. With the squealing animals still attached.

54. Go to Six Flags. Jump off the Texas Giant at it's apex. Get back in line.

55. Let a werewolf loose in the middle of a Toreador Clan meeting. Dress it up in pink lingerie first.

56. Using a skinned werewolf hide, Mask of a Thousand Faces, and Vissectitude, impersonate a Lupine. Go punch a vampire whom you know carries silver bullets. Pretend to die when he/she shoots you. Yell "Boo!" when they bend down to drink from you.

57. Dress up like Barney and attack an elementary school with a chainsaw.

58. Make potholes in a major bridge. During rush hour. (C-4 is suggested.)

59. During Christmas season, go to the mall. Find a Santa. Hang him from the ceiling using his small intestine. Think piñate.

60. Visit SeaWorld with a fishing pole and a speargun.

61. Get ten of your friends. Dress up like Superman. Run through a TV news station to the top of the building. Try to fly. Run away laughing.

-Peg Leg Pete, beginning to doubt the wisdom of posting these...

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