991. This one works best with Animalism. Train a seagull to aim properly and go looking for good targets.

992. Yell "Speak up!" at Mimes. Do it until it works.

993. Befriend the local Anarchs and escort them to the next Ventrue Board Meeting.

994. Play Chainsaw Tag in a crowded mall.

995. Hire snipers to break up the next NRA meeting.

996. Bring a huge cross to the next Pagan festival.

997. Wear lots of Orange on St. Patrick's Day. (With thanks to Mohan)

998. Walk into a typical Coffeehouse and tell all the Goths to cheer up.

999. Kidnap someone and force them to listen to a looped album of elevator music.

1000. Use Mask of a Thousand Faces or Fleshcraft to look like Tupac and blame the killing on a prominent music critic.

1001. Make yourself look like O.J. Simpson, call a press conference, and confess.

1002. Go to Prague and replace the big statue of Stalin with a 3-meter stature of Michael Jackson (oops, too late).

1003. Go to a Slayer concert, bring a powerful sound system and lots of Disco music.

1004. Find an uptight, anal creature of the night (not too hard) and fill their haven with laughing-clown dolls.

1005. Find someone who looks sympathetic and helpful, run up to them, act panic-stricken, and explain your problem (which needs immediate attention) in Aramaic.

1006. Drain someone's swimming pool and replace it with illusionary water.

1007. Send a message to the Arcanum explaining that every true detail about vampires can be found in the movie Lost Boys.

1008. Go to a performance of Peter Pan, shoot Tinkerbell, and clap your hands until she comes out of a coma.

1009. Find a meeting of the IRA and leave a sound system in the ventilation shaft with a loop tape of "God Save The Queen".

1010. You know that old flaming dog of dog crap on the doorstep trick? Substitute C-4.

1011. [Here's a prank story of a Malk annoyed with his sire and wanting to have some fun at others' expense.]

"Dear Dad, This is hard for me to say, so I'll just say it...I'm Gangrel. Now I know this comes as a surprise, but hear me out. All along I suspected I was different.. My love for animals, my want of transforming so I can fly, and so on. Ever since I saw Holling give me those big red eyes, I knew it was only a matter of time before I would finally come out of the closet and let the undead world know that your son was coming to terms with what he truly was...Gangrel. I knew I was finally living up to my true emotions when I joined GALA (Gangrel and Lupine Alliance). Please don't be angry or saddened by my admitting this, I know you saw it coming. I just hope you understand, and help grandpa understand, that this is what I am.

Love, your son
Leo
xoxoxo"

"Holling" is one of the Gangrels in the party. "Grandpa" is his sire's sire - Jack the Ripper! and Jack's a total insomniac with a very grim sense of humor. After he sent this letter He began telling everyone he was Gangrel and said Holling was his sire. Holling has begun to look over his shoulder just in case someone thinks he may have sired without permission. Leo has embarrassed Holling to no end as his "childe".

Leo has also learned all the Gangrel Clan disciplines and has put them to interesting uses. With earth meld - he has grabbed people and melded into the ground with them and them left them there. With protean he turned into bat form, flew to Central Park, scooped up horse dung, and bombed the Ventrue club because he got thrown out. Once in mist form, he hid inside the other Gangrels pet Husky (Three guesses as to how he got his mist form in the dog!).

1012. Substitute Nair for shampoo.

1013. Go to every toy store in town and buy as much Silly Putty as you can get. Buy a couple of telephone cords (the curly ones you plug into the handset.) Buy some sort of travel clock or a digital times. Last but not least, buy a very popular type of carry on bag. Shape the silly putty into bricks, plug the phone cords into the bricks, then attach them to the clock. Go to a local airport and swap bags with someone who has an identical one. Enjoy the show.

1014. Carve computer-generated ripples in the surface of a main highway, and when vehicles pass over them, mysterious voices whisper and distant music plays. Two ripple-tracks, one for each tire, should give stereo sound.

1015. Build a battery powered Tesla Coil, clip it to your belt and run a wire out to an argon-filled mylar sphere. When turned on, the wire will grow a large blazing white ball of lightning filaments. Run screaming through the night chased by a ball of lightning in a hardly-noticeable clear bag. Charred, smoking clothing would be good too. Ahhhhhh! It's biting meeeee!

1016. Ever seen a kick me sign? Diablerize me. On a well hated Tremere. Someone might take him up on it.

1017. As above, only with "I suck for Blood".

1018. So the Prince/Primogen/Sheriff/Whatever has a REALLY good body? Wait 'till there's a court meeting. Establish eye contact. Dominate. "Strip!"

1019. Write a REALLY hot letter. Include farm animals, small wooden objects and the jaws of life. Seal it, and give it to a Neonate trying to climb up the social ladder. (Bonus points if you Mask to look like the Nosferatu Primogen at the time.) Dominate the Neonate into giving the letter to someone important of the same sex. (Male works best, because they're soooo easy to upset in such matters...). Have the Neonate swear the letter is from them.

1020. In an LARP for some OOC fun, Obfuscate and make faces at people you don't like. They can't see you, remember? Make bunny ears.

1021. Get a pair of REALLY cool shades. (Bonus points for the palm trees!). Get a stuffy Ventrue. Dominate the Ventrue to wear the shades.

1022. Mesmerize can be fun, fun, fun! Come up with a conspiracy theory. Mesmerize people to suddenly scream "COWS!" when they hear the word "Gangrel". Could the Gangrel really be a strange half-breed of were-cow?

1023. Telepathy can also be fun, fun, fun! Wait 'till there's political unrest. Obfuscate. Walk up to the Prince. Tell her that she's going to die. Repeat to all Primogen. Now find a near-frenzied Brujah who hates the Prince. Start stirring up unrest. Obfuscate again. Whisper about how paranoid the Elders have been lately. Gee, what could they be up to that they don't want the Brujah to find out about? See if you can't make your little prophesy fulfill itself.

1024. For all you handsome young males out there, wait until a chick with great legs is wearing a short skirt. Obfuscate. Lie down under her and get a really, really, really good view. Make sure she's in a large crowd of very important people, and is trying to impress them! Okay, now make yourself visible.

1025. Ghoul a random mortal and tell everyone that s/he is your childe. See how horribly you can get everyone ELSE to break the Masquerade around him/her. Demand a blood hunt.

1026. [Prank story...]

The sheriff of the city was being rather annoying and violent, and this wonderful low power Nosferatu had to take him out somehow. However was he going to do it?

He waited until the Sheriff made a mistake... in this case, killing a werewolf hunter (right place, right time, wrong species) right in the middle of a park where a lot of vampires were meeting with Potence (!!!). Well, this Nossie masked himself to look like the sheriff, then mugged three wives of the policemen investigating the case. He used his media to push the story through.

1027. [More on the above story...]

Same sheriff... Wants my character dead. (Who can blame him? She's been calling his hair a mop from day one). There are rumors of Sabbat contacts in the city, which the sheriff is trying to track down. This character has friends with underworld influences, so that whenever he follows a trail, it mysteriously leads back to him. At this point, she dominates him so that whenever it does he'll remember a new memory associating himself with the Sabbat. (Although never directly).

At the same time, she goes to the Tremere, and dominates one into having a "vision" (via "spirit's touch") next time he touches the sheriff. The "vision" is of him doing nasty Sabbat-like things (although again, never directly is it mentioned). She then goes to the Tremere Primogen and implants a suggestion that when she next hears of treachery associated with the sheriff, she'll get VERY angry at him and do anything in her power to destroy him... So far so good.

In the meantime, my character uses her law influences to break the sheriff out of jail (see aforementioned mugging) as a gesture of good will.

Now, almost all the strings are closed.... But there are two more suggestions to implant. One of my characters personalities starts hinting that she knows something about this whole Sabbat deal. One of the Nossies begs her for info. She gets a boon out of him, then comes to him the next week looking nervous and jittery and tells him that she's stuck her nose too far in and is pulling out before she gets herself baked... and that he should be doing the same thing as well. As she's leaving, she turns and remarks in an offhand way: "Oh, and watch your sheriff."

Now that all the seeds are planted, it's time to water them. In the next meeting, I plan wait until the sheriff's past crimes against the masquerade (The killing and poor cover-up, the subsequent muggings, his refusal to leave town...) are brought up, and then, in a mournful voice while shaking my head, remark: "It's almost as if he WANTS to break the masquerade." Of course, I plan to get a couple narrators to OOC remind the players beforehand what the first sign of a Sabbat invasion is...

1028. New Game: "Kick the Caitiff." Fun for the whole clan!

1029. Another New Game, using Fleshcraft. "Pin the tail on the Gangrel." Using a Lupine tail. I suggest that you throw in some Obfuscate as well when fuzzy finds out where his tail is.

1030. Assamite hunting you? No problem! A little Fleshcrafting, a little Dominating and presto! Someone who looks like you and thinks that he is you. Let the assassin kill off your double, then show up at his haven and tell him that he did a very poor job. Bonus points for showing him how it's really done.

1031. Ever noticed the people that seem to park their vehicles in the handicapped spots illegally? Arrange it so they can park there legally.

1032. Or, for those people who think that they can double park their vehicles because the own a Mercedes...get a couple of Brujah buddies (The big bodybuilding kind with Potence to spare) to place the car upside down. A few miles away from where the car was to begin with.

1033. Take a large amount of pure sodium (Raid a high school chemistry lab if necessary). Sprinkle it all over the Prince's front lawn. Turn on the sprinklers. Relocate to another country after the explosion.

1034. Replace all the lasers in a laser tag arena with real guns. Sit back and enjoy all of the lovely expressions of the faces of people when they realize that their friends are not getting back up in 5-6 seconds.

1035. Get some of your buddies. Reenact the Rodney King beating several times, several different places, have fun, switch roles, let the single black guy beat up a dozen cops. Bonus points for being caught on tape. Enjoy the headlines and riots the next day.

1036. Dress up as Darth Vader, get a sharp sword and lots of those little, red glow sticks and put 'em together. Walk around randomly cutting off peoples hands, then in a mean voice with lots of heavy breathing tell them your their father.

1037. Wait for a Gangrel to earth meld. Make mud. Find a 'Tor e a dork' who's into pottery and tell them you have a gift for them because you're sorry for all the bad nasty things you've done to them. Give them the mud. Watch the fun.

1038. Put liquid ecstasy in humidifiers.

1039. (Prank recipe)

Requires:
2 x Malkavians
1 x ambulance and ambulance crew
1 x large city with several hospitals
Fleshcraft, bonecraft, (Driving is optional, but greatly prolongs the fun.)

Obtain an ambulance crew. This can be easily done by causing a major traffic accident and taking one of the crews which arrive.

Knock out/Dominate the crew and keep them somewhere safe for the night (be careful not to break them, you need them later.)

Fleshcraft yourselves to look like the ambulance crew and start answering calls. Very few of the accident and illness victims you pickup will be gruesome enough to be really fun for the hospital staff. Make good this deficit on the way to the hospital. Oh, by the way, there's no need to interrupt your fun by actually escorting patients into the hospital and filling out those long forms. You have done your duty simply getting them there. Tip them out by the main doors and head off.

You may find that it pays to use different hospitals after the first couple of deliveries, as avoiding the roadblocks and armed police can be tedious.

In addition, you may find that the ambulance service will cease to transmit the location of patients in need of your services. No problem - remember, there are accidents waiting to happen everywhere. Help them.

Finally, near dawn/when you become bored/have drunk too much blood, retrieve the original ambulance crew (you did keep them safe, didn't you?). Dominate them to have no memories of any events that night. Put them in the ambulance and let them drive back to base unharmed. After all, you can't be cruel all the time.

1040. Musical chairs with C-4.

1041. Dress up as great white hunter ala Elmer Fudd style, go out were-moose hunting, with an elephant gun or a light anti-tank weapon. (what you categorize as were-moose is up to you) Now every time you shoot at something and miss, blame it on the invisible were-moose that got in the way.

1042. (you may need friends for this one) go to a junior HS and fleshcraft all the boys into looking like Beavis or Butt-head, now dominate them all into going to the opening night of the Beavis and Butt-head movie. bonus point if you can fill the whole theater with them.

1043. Dominate Chicken Willy.. err. I mean Bill Clinton into confessing to everything to do with Whitewater during his inaugural speech. Bonus points for having him stop in the middle to take hits off a bong.

1044. Dominate Tipper Gore into attending a 2 live Crew concert, complete with press coverage of the event.

1045. Convince a Toreador antitribu that has vicissitude that he's Picasso and that the kin are his canvas. Now follow him around and enjoy the fun.

1046. Dominate a Baali into believing that Barney is the lord of all demons.

1047. "A massive power outage seemed hit Boston earlier tonight, darkening all but a select group of windows. The windows appeared to be in a pattern that would read 'I NY'"

1048. Fill the fountain at Washington Square Park in NYC with lime green Jell-O and Vodka.

1049. Share your pilfered blood bags with your friends, but keep another filled with raspberry syrup just in case.

1050. Break into another character's get-away car and replace the engine with a gerbil wheel.

1051. Use Telepathy and Dominate to carry on conversations with other people using another's mouth. Divulge information only you know about the person. Should get some interesting looks and reactions.

1052. (For the discriminating Malk Prince...) Read a list of names and saying the following people will NOT be diablerized today. Then call off all the names except one and when they bring it up say 'oh.. I guess you're right.. I didn't call your name.'

1053. Use Dominate to make a drunken Gangrel sing an operatic version of his very own theme song which consists of his name quoted over and over and over again.

1054. You know that Tremere with the Toledo saber with an anti-Kindred ward? Glue it to its sheathe, making for a very irritating situation in the next combat.

1055. Paint stylish red flames on your favorite Toreador's sleek black sportscar.

1056. Shave the Gangrel's pet wolf to look like a poodle.

1057. [Prank story...]
In an emergency, the Sheriff (a Toreador) and Seneschal (a Malkavian) of the city had to boost the Ventrue Primogen's car to run off and rescue someone. Seeing that it was for a good cause, the Ventrue Primogen simply asked for them to replace the stolen vehicle. The Malkavian brought back an identical car in perfect condition, but when the Primo's ghoul opened up the car to check it out, he was assaulted by the horde of weasels the Malk had put in there.

1058. Know that annoying Gangrel who constantly scoffs at you? Pave over his Earth Meld spot during the day.

1059. Seal everyone inside the Elysium and re-enforce the windows with some form of plexiglass. This will result in a lot of toasted kindred (there are a LOT of windows). See who uses who for a shield.

1060. You've probably seen dirty cars in which some semi-literate goon has written "wash me" in the dirt. Same idea, only use a key and write "paint me", preferably on a nice new, shiny, pristine car. Particularly good on that new Ferrari the Ventrue Primogen refused to let you borrow.

1061. Disassemble a motor-cycle being and re-assemble it into industrial looking sculptures of characters from 'Saturday Night Fever'.

1062. Rent a crop-duster and bomb a Tremere chantry with chalk.

1063. Follow the Toreador Primogen around for three weeks having his car towed every place he parks.

1064. Fill the basement of a public haven with lime Jell-O.

1065. [Prank story...]
He spent about three months (and several hundred thousand dollars) strategically placing ceramic tiling and steel plates about the buildings around his apartment and the rave... finally, on a night when the club had a particularly large crowd and was being particularly loud, he got some Malk friends of his to set up speakers all around the building he lived in, attached all of them to a single receiver, attached the receiver to a single-disc CD player, and turned the entire monstrous unit on very, very softly...

...then turned it up a bit... (not having started the CD, of course) ...cued the CD to the second song and put it on pause... turned the speakers up to the point where he could hear them, then turned them up so that his ceramics and steel started to vibrate. He pressed "play".

The buildings for two blocks in any given direction became a giant sounding-board for "Birdhouse in your Soul". He had turned the plates, tiles, and volumes just right so that none of the buildings suffered any ill effects.

The rave moved. He had a peaceful rest of the Chronicle.

1066. Got a real hick in your coterie? Let him know you know his true colors by Dominating a ghoul to paint the back of his neck red.

1067. Coterie got you down with all that psycho-Rambo-crap when all you want is psycho-love-and-fun? Dominate a ghoul to replace all their ammunition with rubber bullets.

1068. As you know, the night before the big Thanksgiving Day parade they inflate those giant balloons. GO HUNTING! Take out as many of the balloons as you can. A large caliber weapon is recommended. Watch the fun as they will try to repair them. Keep it up as long as you can.

1069. Only for the truly reckless: Take out the balloons DURING the parade. Sun Block 1,000,000 highly recommended.

1070. Only for the truly deranged: As per #1068: Steal all the Helium tanks and refill them with Hydrogen. Then go balloon hunting with tracer ammo (Can you say Hindenburg?).

1071. Only for the Utterly demented: As per #1070, BUT during the parade instead. This will really keep everyone on their toes.

1072. Find out where an Elvis convention is. When awards are given out, de-Obfuscate as Elvis, take the award, announce that you are the only King, and then obfuscate and escape leaving everybody shocked.

1073. Obfuscate as Jesus in a church revival that's overfilled in the spirit. Give an announcement and then leave obfuscated.

1074. Break into the place where SAT, ACT, TASP, and IQ are graded. Rig the Scantron machines causing them to make dumb be smart and smart be dumb.

1075. Paint thinner, a hammer, and a Toreador's haven. Need I say more?

1076. Orange slices and lunchmeats do interesting things to car paint.

1077. Next time someone says you've lot your marbles, collect as many small spheres as you possibly can, and tightly confine them somewhere unexpected. Refrigerators, closets, and entire rooms full of the little buggers are nice. (This takes LOTS of marbles. Start collecting right away.)

1078. Know a Lick who's proud of their mortal-type cooking? Hairspray on the stove burners will definitely add spice to their dinner parties.

1079. Feather pillows and centralized ventilation systems offer many opportunities.

1080. Fleshcraft and Dominate some poor shmuck into Prince _____. Have him order any Ravnos in the city out of it on pain of Blood Hunt. Watch the news travel. Watch the real Prince get the "Treatment". Be ready to leave the country if it doesn't work.

1081. One word on dealing with any tree-huggers: Herbicide. Be creative. Write messages with it.

1082. Ghoul the local team's cuddly little mascot.

1083. Experiment with buoyancy: How long will various casket styles float when occupied?

1084. Crazyglue all sorts of expensive little trinkets to incredibly heavy shelves. Invite some Ravnos over. Watch them try and pocket stuff.

1085. Know someone with incredibly high-quality, expensive wood furniture? Ever wondered if you can ghoul termites and carpenter ants?

1086. Water balloons. Obfuscate. Celerity. Permanent hair dye.

1087. A Blue Blood clothes-horse gone for the weekend? Call up Goodwill and Salvation Army for a clothes pick-up.

1088. Tape Brady-Bunch episodes and Richard Simmons workouts over all of your favorite Kindred's movie collection. Crazyglue the channel knob to CNN or PBS. Destroy the remote. (This may not work as a prank on a fellow Malkie.)

1089. Saran Wrap + Some idiot's coffin + A hair dryer= Layers and layers of shrink-wrapped fun!

1090. Replace a Tremere's occult library with Dr. Seuss and Richard Scary.

1091. Replace a Torrie's priceless poetry collection with Shel Silverstein.

1092. Dominate a Setite into a Girl Scout Troop Leader.

1093. Dominate some girl scouts into thinking a Setite is their troop leader.

1094. Gift someone you hate with a want ad stating: "Single Undead Male/Female, seeks lovers of same sex to become vampiric slaves and help assassinate Prince ______. Call: (their number) For more details. Ask for Sweetie-Buns"

1095. Dominate some city workmen into placing a port-a-potty over a Gangrel's earth-meld spot. Better yet, have them dig a real, old-fashioned outhouse.....

1096. Dominate local Brujah into thinking a new art gallery is a rave. Replace the piped in classical stuff with heavy-duty techno.

1097. Dominate/Dementate a Torrie painter into believing all colors are neon purple.

1098. Dominate members of the appropriate clans into thinking they're various members of The Village People.......proclaim the next court to be Disco Night.

1099. Dominate the entire city council into having a toga party in front of the local courthouse.

1100. Obfuscate and sneak into the studio of "Strange Universe" or some other show devoted to the supernatural. Show them what "Strange Occurrences" really are......bonus if it's a live show or has a studio audience.

Thus ends part the Prankthology, Part Ten of Five. The LAST Prankthology. But wait, what's this? MORE pranks? Why yes, it is! That's right, bozos, bonus pranks. Enjoy 'em while they last.

1101. Obfuscate, Celerity, a bicycle horn, and a right-wing militia training camp.

1102. Attend a KKK rally. Dominate different Klansmen into thinking they're various civil rights leaders. Bonus points for every Malcolm X and Jesse Jackson.

1103. Obfuscate and choose a direction. Walk in as straight a line as you possibly can. Go over or through anything that gets in your way.

1104. Obfuscate and hang out near a corner with a long light. When it turns red, climb onto the roof of the nearest car and jump up and down a few times.

1105. Same as above, only use Celerity to steal as many car parts as you can. Get several friends together, and turn it into a team competition.

1106. Go to a crime scene, and Dominate the cop with the chalk into playing hopscotch.

1107. Obfuscate in an electronics/computer store. Play with a powerful magnet. (Be sure to get the security cameras too.)

1108. Replace a local baker. Remember "Jack and the Beanstalk?" Bake bread. Replace flour with ground-up bones of Englishmen. Send to any high-ranking English vamps.

1109. Ya know the old shaving cream in the hand and tickle the face while sleeping routine? Good. Now replace the shaving cream with any body organ. (Bonus points for disgusting innards. More bonus points if the body parts are still beating. You may need Serpentis for this one.)

1110. I'm thinking a of a toy store, a few Tickle-Me-Elmo dolls, and a whole bunch of C4 explosives. Extra points if you can make the doll say "Sayonara SUCKER" right before it explodes.

1111. I'm thinking of a toy store and a Tremere who can animate inanimate objects (can you say REVOLT?). Bonus points if the warlock can send the cabbage patch dolls on a kiddie eating spree.

1112. Throw a "cookout" for all the kindred in the city. Halfway through run in with squirt guns filled with Barbecue sauce. Baste everyone in the vicinity, then run like hell. One minute later enter equipped with a flame thrower and begin to ask them if they want regular or extra crispy. (Bonus points if you successfully invite and forget to tell anyone that the the werewolves were coming.) Extra bonus points for surviving. Super bonus points for gaining compliments from the lupines (and still surviving).

1113. Pre-treat some charcoal briquettes with liquid oxygen. This makes them the equivalent of a stick of dynamite. Now invite the Prince and Primogen members over for a "conciliatory" barbecue. Let the Prince and the most obnoxious Primos have the honor of lighting the grill...

1114. Collect toenail clippings, use your own, someone else's, whatever. Gather enough to fill a car, like a really prissy Toreador's. Fill the car to capacity (if the car has a sunroof - all the better) If the windows aren't tinted, tint them. Should be fun when they open the door. Show them that they aren't the only ones with artistic ability!

1115. Stick a fake third eye on your forehead. Walk around wearing a T-shirt that says "My Sire reached Golconda and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt."

Yup, you heard right, bozos. Thus ends the Prankthology as I have run it. But Erehwon has graciously agreed to keep it going in his own manner. So please, if you have any new prank ideas, send them his way (erehwon@nauticom.net). I'm getting too old and cranky for this shit, so it's time to quit. I'd like to thank everyone who helped and submitted and hope everyone enjoyed the ride. Good night.

-Johnny, aka Peg Leg Pete

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