The Prankthology, Part Two of Five

111. Perform a hostile takeover of one of those kiddy science shows (Beakman, Bill Nye, etc...). Explain to the kids how the world really works. (The use of survivors of the hostile takeover as "volunteers" for experiments is considered good form.)

112. Send your most imaginative Dream Diary to the Weekly World News, complete with illustrations.

113. Find a Giovanni or Samedi who either has a grudge against Francois Villon or a weak self-control. Take your new friend to the ossuary in the catacombs. Rearrange bones before he animates. Be creative. Surprise that next busload of tourists out for that macabre feel.

114. Dominate the Mayor of Paris into keeping the promise he made of swimming in the Seine by 1994. Call the press, of course.

115. Get a strong Brujah pal to turn parking meters into pieces of modern art (knots, twists, and turns). Make sure the coin slots end up being unreachable.

116. Ever wondered just how strong those bars holding back that gorilla are? Using Animalism and some of your blood, take over a gorilla at a zoo. King Kong was a sissy.

117. Locate the national fencing team's training camp. Sneak into it at night. Two words: Fleshcraft and Cyrano.

118. "Convince" the local mayor and his cabinet to show up nude at the prince's residence. Make sure there are a lot of TV reporters on hand. Makes for great embarrassment for both sides.

119. During sorority rushes at your local girl's Catholic college, redirect the night's function to a Brujah rave.

120. Fleshcraft and Dominate three ghouls to look like Jesus, Elvis, and JFK. Have them discuss politics at the next meeting of the city's Primogen.

121. Dress up as Colonial Marines. Designate all city officials as 'Aliens'. Save the Earth.

122. Turn entire petting zoo into vampires. Have ghoul videotape children's faces as their favorite animals spontaneously combust.

123. Go into music store. Break CDs and eat them. Puke up bloody bits on the salespeople.

124. Go to amusement park. Shoot one parent in every couple with children.

125. Replace a plastic surgeon. With fleshcrafting, give them more than their money's worth.

126. Dominate leading NASA spokesman into having a press conference to tell the public that UFOs and aliens exist. Provide him with fun photos and sketches.

127. Dress up as Crusaders and kill all non-white males, screaming "Kill the heathens! Death to all non-believers!"

128. Poison the coffee and donuts in a shop that most police frequent. Start a riot the next night. (Free inmates only if the riot sucks.)

129. Steal a major stash of cocaine. Have ghouls hand out to children at elementary school.

130. (Only for the most enterprising of pranksters...) Steal a mobile artillery piece. Renovate the slums. Park the piece in the Prince's yard. Leave the state.

131. Sneak into a mall. Switch all merchandise between Victoria's Secret and Dillard's Men's Department.

132. Spear pedestrians with self-propelled marlins.

133. Hack into a major TV uplink. Give a unique State of the Union Address looking like Bill. No, make that Hillary...

134. Put anti-Toreador graffiti all over the Hoover Dam.

135. Skin a skinhead.

136. Go to an animal rights activist meeting wearing fur. With the squealing animals still attached.

137. Go to Six Flags. Jump off the Texas Giant at it's apex. Get back in line.

138. Let a werewolf loose in the middle of a Toreador Clan meeting. Dress it up in pink lingerie first.

139. Using a skinned werewolf hide, Mask of a Thousand Faces, and Vissectitude, impersonate a Lupine. Go punch a vampire whom you know carries silver bullets. Pretend to die when he/she shoots you. Yell "Boo!" when they bend down to drink from you.

140. Dress up like Barney and attack an elementary school with a chainsaw.

141. Make potholes in a major bridge. During rush hour. (C-4 is suggested.)

142. During Christmas season, go to the mall. Find a Santa. Hang him from the ceiling using his small intestine. Think piņata.

143. Visit SeaWorld with a fishing pole and a speargun.

144. Get ten of your friends. Dress up like Superman. Run through a TV news station to the top of the building. Try to fly. Run away laughing.

154. Stand in a supermarket cart while a friend wheels you around the store..
a) re-enact George Washington's Crossing of the Delaware...
b) put finger over upper lip John Cleese-style, and nazi salute people...

155. Dance to music. Everywhere. Supermarket music. Elevator music. Hold button music. Somebody else's walkman music.

156. Bite pop cans and put them back on the shelf.

157. Go at red lights and stop at green ones.

158. Dominate that clown on the drive-through speaker.

159. Ask a passer-by where the nearest elevator is, even if you're in the woods.

160. Drive backwards.

161. Do jumping jacks whenever you see a green light.

162. Drag a banana on a leash through a mall and talk to it.

163. Answer telephones and order pizza.
"Hello, is John th-"
"Hi! Is this Domino's? I'd like to order a medium pepperoni, no garlic."
"Er, I'm not Domino's. Is Joh-"
"You folks are such kidders. I'll be waiting, seeya." (click).

164. Find out who heads the nearest Klan group and when and where they meet. Kidnap their leader and fleshcraft him to look like the minority of your choice and use Dominate to send him off to the meeting acting like nothing has happened. Sit back and enjoy the show.

165. Recipe for Insanity (Just like mama used to make...)

Ingredients:
One paint-ball gun
A lot of ammo
High level of Obfuscate
Patience
One cagey, paranoid, lonely vampire

Directions:
1.) Follow said vampire home and sneak in.
2.) Stand behind him (about five feet back), and shoot him in the back of the head with the pain-ball gun.
3.) Obfuscate real quick before he turns around.
4.) Do it again as soon as he calms down.
5.) Repeat all night.
6.) If he flees, give chase and continue.
7.) If he seeks companions, use patience to wait until he is alone again.
8.) Either way, the poor bastard's gonna crack.

166. Place an envelope on a prince's doorstep. In said envelope is a letter from the Black Hand stating that he is their next target. Now blow up his bushes. Repeat once weekly blowing up a different item in his yard or house.

167. Turn a ghoul into Pan (that little Greek boy-god) and have him attend mass.

168. Sneak into a baseball team's locker room with some friends. Kill 'em all, change into them, and take the field. See how long it takes before you are found out.

169. Buy a lot of gerbils, hamsters, and other rodents from various pet stores. Think snowball fight.

170. Dress up in sheets like the KKK. Spray-paint the sheets red. Hang real violent KKK members in the mayor's lawn.

171. Steal a tank. Go joyriding through a museum and some of the Prince's major haunts.

172. Get the Yellow Pages. Visit as many apartment complexes as you can in one night, giving out $500 cash to any residents in apartment #13. Return two nights later and kill 'em all.

173. Sneak into a book store after hours. Bring a lot of spray-paint. Turn all the books neon purple.

174. Juggle for crowds using Celerity. With severed limbs.

175. Find someone juggling chainsaws. Interrupt them at a crucial point. A knife in the ass will usually do the trick.

176. Set up a sniper hole near the Mexican border. Shoot all border hoppers one night. A week later, come back and repeat, but shoot all the border guards this time. Repeat as necessary.

177. Change "Hooked on Phonics" tapes to instructional videos teaching little kiddies how to cuss like good sailors. (Thanks to v.a.l. again...)

178. Hoist the Jolly Roger in front of the Capitol Building.

179. Visit a Civil War reenactment. Dress up like Injuns and declare war on both sides. Bonus points for the most scalps.

180. Slash all the tires on the cars at a used car lot.

181. Go to Gold's Gym. Bring a strong Brujah. Show the silly Kine what real strength is. Sell your "superstrength" pills for $20. (Yes, yes, it's a blood capsule...) Tell 'em it's better than steroids 'cause your wienie don't shrink...

182. Visit a slaughterhouse. Using celerity and a sword, give 'em pointers.

183. Enter a bullfight. Ride 'em cowboy!

184. Dress up like the Beverly Hillbillies. Visit Rodeo Blvd. with flame-throwers and explosives.

185. Go to Disney World and chop off Mickey's and Minnie's heads in a crowd of children.

186. Turn an entire old folks home into vampires. Give 'em the Prince's address and a severe hatred of authority.

187. Go to a deer lease. Catch a deer and skin it. Dress up in its skin and go hunt silly people wearing neon orange camouflage.

188. Attend a political rally with a high voltage cattle prod.

189. Have a friend and yourself dress up like an Arab and an Israeli. Using low-caliber pistols in a crowded street, trade shots to the chest. Reload and repeat until the police and news teams arrive. Fill up on the police's blood and go play bumper cars with their cruisers.

190. Find out the meeting time of your local Diverse Culture Awareness group. Get some friends and dress up like really bad stereotypes (body paint, wigs, and props encouraged) and attend.

191. Visit an electronics and appliance store with a sledgehammer and a bunch of IOU notes.

192. Go dynamite fishing, but go at PetLand.

193. Build a catapult. Shoot livestock at the prince's house. If you've seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, you get the idea. For extra credit throw livestock from a C-130.

194. Visit the local toxic waste dump. Shoot that out of the catapult. See if Toreador get mesmerized.

195. When anyone tells you to have a nice day, tell them that you have other plans. Then take their picture. Walk away fingering a knife and muttering.

196. Get "out to lunch" tattooed on your forehead. Better yet get it tattooed on someone else's forehead.

197. Stare at people through the tines on a fork. If they say anything yell, "QUIET PRISONER #145512!"

198. Buy new clothes. Get shot and or stabbed in them and try to return them. Don't bother healing first.

199. On Halloween put liquid nitroglycerin in pumpkins. Wait for people to smash them.

200. Go to a fireworks factory with a flame-thrower. Sing "Light my fire."

201. Sell T-shirts saying "Prince _____ sucks wet farts from dead pigeons." Thanks to Cerebus for the insult.

202. Get a silver-bladed chainsaw. Attack gerbils with it. Tell people that they mature into werewolves, and its best to kill them in the larval stage.

203. Take a full septic tank truck. Give the police station a fresh coat of paint.

204. Kidnap a school principal. Start a bidding war of students vs. the state to kill or release him.

205. Melvin the televangelist of your choice on live TV.

206. Dress up as Jesus. Go to a midnight mass and crucify people. Make lots of nasty comments about Romans.

207. Find a mosque. Bury it under lots of raw pork.

208. Start a mosh pit at a Barry Manilow concert.

209. Pull a large fish behind you on a leash. Call it Fido.

210. Find out when and where the local head of the Tremere chantry will be holding his yearly gala. Hire every costumed singing telegram person in the city to come to the ball dressed in gorilla suits (or clown suits or whatever). Have them all in succession sing to the Tremere dignitary: "Roses are red, violets are blue, Tremere is a slug, and you're spawned from his goo." Then have each one hand the fellow their hydrogen-filled balloon and leave. Have the last one hand him the balloon with the incendiary device in it.

211. During Mardi Gras, replace all the paper-mache heads with real heads on the "Babes in Toyland" float. Have all the heads fleshcrafted to look just like certain local Camarilla leaders. Replaces "Babes" with "Vampires". If possible, drop an illusion over the float so you can unmask it at the best time.

212. Find a pompous Toreador (they're fairly common, I'm told). Using Horrid Reality, have the Torry surrounded by three mirrors in which he sees himself as a Nosferatu, a Samedi, and a Gargoyle.

213. Have one of your Samedi buddies use Rigor Mortis on a vain Toreador. Then Dominate him into thinking that nothing has happened.

214. Dress up in suits of armor with swords. Decorate armor with English coats-of-arms and Union jacks. Kill every Frenchman you can find, singing "God Save The Queen".

215. Turn an entire dairy farm's stock into vampcows. (Somehow, I think Gary Larson influenced me on this one...) Make wagers to guess what the media will determine as the cause of the spontaneous combusting bovines.

216. Re-enact Don Quixote. (Damn, but I loved that story...)

217. Dominate a large number (at least fifty) of people into jointly peeing on the President's lawn through the fence while singing "Hail to the Chief", but replacing "Chief" with "draft- dodger".

218. Dress up like scuba men. Release a few alligators into a mall and chase 'em around yelling about purses and shoes.

219. Go mountain climbing. On a sky-scraper. Dressed up like Spider Man in neon yellow and orange.

220. Gets lots of friends, dress up like cowboys, and ride horses through the intensive care wing of a busy hospital. (Indiscriminate shooting is optional, of course.)

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