441. Tie someone to some railroad tracks. Dress up like Superman. Stand on the tracks and try and stop the train from smushing the poor sap. Bonus points for good hang time.

442. (This one may take a lot of work...) Build a very large mousetrap (life-size). Now fleshcraft some sucker into looking like a huge rat. (You may need some gray spray-paint here.) Arm the trap and throw ratboy on it. Now relocate the filled trap to the lawn in front of the Senate. Spray-paint "You're Next" on the sidewalk.

443. Get yourself hit by a bus. Struggle feebly on the ground. When the paramedics arrive, feign a slow heartbeat. Once at the hospital, wait til they put you under (heh, heh) and begin operating. Open your eyes and give helpful pointers to the doctors.

444. Set up one of those super slingshot launchers behind a drive-in movie screen. Think car batteries.

445. Rip out your eyeballs before sleeping one day. The following night, take them and superglue them on the front door of town hall. Carve "Big Brother Is Watching" on the door.

446. Go to a boating show. Get a jetski and a box of dynamite. Destroy the evil Spanish Armada.

447. Go to a basketball game. Find a very hidden spot in the rafters. Have a sniper rifle with a big scope, a good silencer, and a flash suppresser. See how many three pointers you can gun down halfway there. Shooting the players is considered bad form.

448. Go to a journalist convention. Demonstrate to them the real meaning of decimation.

449. Go to an unemployment office during a busy time. Rob it just for the confused expressions you'll get.

450. Go to a suicidal feelings help group. Halfway into the session, pull out a gun and shoot yourself in the head. Put it away and tell everyone you feel much better. See how many people still stay. Bonus points if you can get someone to help you pick up your brains.

451. A porcupine in each fist. A mosh pit. 'Nuff said.

452. (Only for the truly sick and perverted male pranksters...) Cut off your tallywhacker. (Don't worry, it'll grow back...) Superglue a live garder snake in it's place. Go to a doctor telling him you have a small problem...

453. Find a lone werewolf. With some friends, restrain him somehow. Now immolate him. Take the ashes and put them in a desk at the local TV station. Imagine the surprised looks when furbutt regenerates in a mildly irritated frame of mind. (Did I just open a door to portable werewolf bombs?...)

454. (Prank story...) Well, once there were a bunch of Malkavians who wanted to join a Sabbat pack and lead it. And they were all named Frank... no, not each one named Frank, more like a pack name or group mind or something. So they came up and challenged for monomacy, and the Brujah who led the pack said all right. They said you'll have to fight 'Frank', and he said okay. So the Malks all jumped on him and beat the piss out of him. Then they ran the pack forever and ever until they were killed by Lupines.

455. Drop Anvils on the members of that group that gripes to Congress about violence in cartoons.

456. Go to a feminist rally. Dominate all of the women into believing that they are Lorena Bobbit. (For the truly sick, fleshcraft them all into looking like her also.) Lead them to a bar and let them loose with anything form daggers to chainsaws. Watch the Oscar Meyers fly...

457. (Variation on last one) ... and Dominate them all into thinking that being a housewife is God's gift to women.

458. Go to a dance club with a big gun. Wait until they play "Head Like a Hole" by Nine Inch Nails. Let some of the club customers experience the song firsthand.

459. Put on bunny ears and hop around the local park telling everyone you are a bunny rabbit. Get indignant and shoot any who say otherwise.

460. Grenades make great Easter eggs, and kids will eat anything.

461. Find one of those dumbass stock ponds. At night, catch a bunch of the fish, ghoul 'em, stick some explosives into them, and let 'em back in the water. Let those idiots who think stock fishing is a sport find a big surprise the next day. (Fishing with a spear or one of those accursed fly rods... now that's sport.)

462. Take one C-5 Galaxy military transport plane. (Thanks v.a.l.) Load it to overflowing with pigs. Head for the Mid-East. Fly over some mosques and synagogues... pork's away!

463. Get on a plane with a parachute in your backpack. Bring a military duffel full of more chutes. Halfway into the flight, put yours on. When people ask, tell them the pilot is about to suffer from some debilitating accident and hand out the parachutes to the highest bidders. Stuff any protesting flight attendants into the duffel. Go shoot the pilot and crew and put one through the cockpit just for good measure. Now go follow everyone who's jumping out. On the way down, practice your aerial marksmanship on the other chutists. (Yes, I know... This one's just plain mean.)

464. Go to an indoor firing range. Sneak downrange to where the targets are. Stand up and take the place of one of the targets. Get offended when they tag you and return fire. The ensuing chaos should be quite amusing.

465. Declare yourself a religious messiah and get some followers. Act real hypocritically. Shoot whoever's stupid enough to still follow you. (Actually, this one could show up on the "Good Deed For Society" list...)

466. Find some uptight Brujah. Steamroll them from the waist down. Toss the frenzying torsos into a local police precinct or television station. Watch the news the following night for laughs.

467. A bulldozer. A modern art sculpture. A passed out Toreador. (Too easy.)

468. Put some concrete shoes on a local, well-known vampire and throw him into a swimming pool. Now place a "live" electrical cord into the pool. Call the news and cops, hide, and see how he tries to get out of this one.

469. Set a very large building very much on fire. While the firefighters are busy, paint the entire interior (furniture and anyone left behind included) of the firehouse white with black spots.

470. Spray-paint a lot of hamsters neon purple. Release them on the grounds of a nuclear research facility. Call a news team.

471. Tar and feather a handful of Nosferatu. Sneak into a baseball stadium during a night game and force them onto the field. Chase 'em around with cattle prods until the police come out. Then Obfuscate and run.

472. Sneak into a music store at night. Steal every "GreenDay" (or insert your favorite psycho band here) album and spray-paint on the floor: "Evidence impounded for violation of Clan Secrecy Act #204F."

473. Get a whole lot of rats. Spray-paint them all yellow. Put them in a truck and release them next to the wave pool at a water park. Start announcing on the PA the proper methods of repelling a lemming invasion. (Thanks, v.a.l.)

474. Get Bigfoot (the truck). Go muddin'. Substitute the crowd at a skinhead rally for mud.

475. Just for kicks, find some Dungeons and Dragons players and fleshcraft them into exact likenesses of their characters. (Dwarves are the most fun...)

476. Sneak into a Volkswagen dealership. Hang a picture of the founder in a prominent place. See how long it takes for the dealership to close. (Volkswagen was founded as a government owned company in Nazi Germany under orders from Adolf Hitler.)

477. With a little creative automechanics, that stuffy Ventrue finds out how much fun chicken can really be.

478. Play Russian Roulette with a shotgun.

479. Find a newborn baby of some really religious couple and spray-paint '666' on its forehead.

480. Knock out the mayor and take him to the morgue. After half an hour of scandalous photos, call up a local paper.

481. Walk around a slum counting money. When you get mugged, stick your finger in the gun's barrel. If your finger gets blown off, regrow it before the mugger's eyes. Then kill him.

482. Dress up as Jesus and tell a fanatic cult that they are doing it all wrong.

483. Recreate the JFK assassination to test the Single Bullet Theory.

484. Play strip poker with the biggest prude among the Toreador, Tremere, or Ventrue. Then Dominate them into thinking they lose.

485. Have a ghoul sneak into the Prince's haven during the day and move the Prince to a different (but safe) location. Call him the next night saying you've kidnapped his house and are demanding a ransom.

486. Go to an airport and off an air traffic controller. Then play with his lights.

487. Go to Blockbuster Video and switch the labels on the "Debbie Does X" movie series with the Barney tapes.

488. Force the greyfaces to bungee jump off of a bridge. Oops, the cords are a little too long. Oh well.

489. Hang your childe by his feet over a subway tunnel. Make sure the trains don't hit him, but come real close.

490. Same as above, but with someone else's childe. And who cares if the trains hit?

491. Find a tight ass and jam the jaws of life up there to help him loosen up.

492. Capture deprogrammers and program them.

493. Rob a bank asking for large, marked bills.

494. Stalk a stalker.

495. Break into a local school, and put the janitor into the food. Make sure to clean up before you leave, and correct the menu for the next day.

496. Act normal for a night. Freak out the straights.

497. Break into a poor family's apartment, and leave money and valuables behind.

498. (See above) Next night, call the cops with descriptions of your stolen possessions.

499. Get a nude photo of Mother Theresa.

500. .thgin eritne na rof sdrakcab kaepS

501. Go to a Bible reading with Anton LaVey's version. They never said WHICH Bible, did they?

502. Crazyglue a victim's mouth and nostrils shut. Sit back and watch Letterman while checking on his progress.

503. Hide under a kid's bed or in his closet. When the kid complains about a monster and the parents check, scream loudly and make the most horrifying face you can before running away loudly.

504. Feed a pit bull your blood, then brush its teeth and let it loose on the neighborhood.

505. Dominate the Prince into thinking that he's the leader of the local Anarchs, and Dominate the local Anarch leader into thinking he's the Prince.

506. Go to Disneyland. Then murder the Beast while screaming something about werewolves.

507. Kill the Sabbat recruiters. Then dig up their initiates. Knock them out again and rebury them. Face down.

508. Go to a supermarket and maim an aisle clerk. Then go to the front and announce, "Clean up on aisle five.".

509. Kidnap a rival and make him re-enact "Dances With Wolves".

510. Force David Duke to strip and run naked through Harlem. Play loud polka music to wake everyone up.

511. Take a midget to the top of the hill. Tie his limbs each to four large trucks aimed to the points of the compass. Now put the trucks in neutral.

512. Go to a porn movie and loudly discuss the symbolism inherent in each scene.

513. Set up a "chess" serial killing, where each victim represents a piece and each murder a square. Tell the police about it ahead of time. Then play checkers.

514. Dominate Farrakhan into thinking he's Bill Cosby.

515. Go to a rock concert and take it over. Play "Ice, Ice, Baby...".

516. Attend the wake of someone with a large, respectable family. Obfuscate to look like a relative (who is, of course, bound and gagged in his own closet with a five year old boy), and when it is your turn to pay your respects, stare solemnly at the corpse and burst out laughing.

517. Replace the floss of someone you don't like with bits of a Brillo pad.

518. Climb to the top of a skyscraper to the Ventrue boardroom and leave a Garfield window-clinger on the window.

519. Break into a Tremere's sanctuary while he's away. Then turn the entire room upside- down with superglue and a screwdriver.

520. Put a time bomb in a public place and let the police know about it. Tell them that if the place is evacuated, you'll detonate it. Tell them the exact location of the bomb. Then have it go off when the timer reaches half an hour.

521. Tattoo people in their sleep.

522. Replace Rorschach cards with porn pictures. Then Dominate the psychiatrist into thinking they're perfectly normal.

523. Graffiti the White House. The more outrageous the slogans, the better.

524. On Valentine's Day, dress up like Cupid. Use real arrows and enforce your choice of love interests through liberal use of superglue.

525. Cement snowmen in front of town hall.

526. One KKK member. A fifty gallon drum of honey. A couple of beehives. The forty yard dash.

527. Think rodeo. Think doggie-tying. Now think big, annoying, purple dinosaurs.

528. Go to a militant feminist rally. Superglue frilly lace bras to their foreheads and herd/chase a bunch of them to a Victoria's Secret store.

529. Get one rolled up magazine. Walk down a crowded New York street and randomly whack people on the nose, saying "Bad dog!"

530. Play "pin the tail on the donkey" with a real donkey. And a staple gun.

531. Paint big yellow smiley faces on each manhole in a big city.

532. Go to a crowded pool hall. Play marbles with the pool balls and use the sticks to fence for the last marble.

533. Go to a news convention. Spray-paint a pentagram in the middle of the floor. Start chanting incoherently and then turn into a "demon" (Obfuscate or Vissectitude will work well). See how many journalists actually stick around to hear the retelling of your troubled childhood in Hades.

534. Know anyone who says, "Wild horses couldn't drag me away!"? Prove them wrong.

535. Get a bag full of multicolor neon spray-paint and find the Lippizano Stallions.

536. (Prank story...) New Orleans has been invaded and taken over by a marauding horde of hostile vampires. Almost all of the local vamps are dead. One survivor is a little Malkavian who has Obfuscated to escape nine Brujah giving chase. So she follows them back to their hideout by hanging onto their truck. Forgoing lighting a blowtorch over their windshield, she follows them inside once they stop in front of an abandoned building. Down through the basement and into the sewers they go, leading to the victorious army celebrating their victory, which they had been planning for one hundred years. As they were gallivanting about, the little Malkie noticed that they were partying amid their stockpile of ammo and explosives that they used to take over the city.
So she did what any normally crazed Malkavian-- armed only with a Bic lighter, an aerosol can, and a yo yo-- would do. She found a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it towards the pile 'o boom. Then, by the grace of Caine (and a liberal expenditure of blood), she gets out of the building just before it blows sky high, sending every last one of the invaders to their Final Death. The resulting fireball was enough to send every remaining vampire for miles into Rotcshreck, and the earth shifted with the force of a minor earthquake. Not only did she make it out, she made it out without a scratch. And to put the icing on the cake of her being the last vamp in New Orleans... the building that got blown up was the Toreador Primogen's haven and nightclub.

537. Telephone surveys and sales. Endless opportunities for an endless number of products! (And would you like a DNA sample with that bloody glove, sir?)

538. Go to the Middle East. Draw a line in the sand. Declare yourself a sovereign nation. When the real owner of the sand comes to object, declare yourself an oppressed democracy and call on the good 'ole U S of A to depend your poor little country. Needless to say, you should be receiving some rather impressive merchandise immediately. You won't be putting that on the mantle!

539. (If you did the last one real well, you could get a nuke...) Disassemble the merchandise and smuggle it back to the States. Stopping by the duty-free shop in Heathrow is a good idea. I recommend several bottles of twenty one year old Springbrook... a wonderful, complex Cambeltown Malt! When you get home, reassemble said merchandise on your front lawn. Now, mix up some nice iced tea with all the sugar your little heart desires. Park yourself in the front lawn, aim that sucker at town hall, and declare: "Just try and raise my property taxes!".

540. Take one large, airtight jar. Modify a vacuum to create a strong vacuum pump that empties into said jar. Obfuscate and follow a Gangrel that can turn to mist. When they do so, vacuum the little tree hugger into the jar. Seal it quickly! With the proper decoration (such as 'Smell of the Hunt Bath oil'), makes a wonderful party gift for anyone deserving a surprise. (U.S. snail mail takes so long to deliver a package... they tend to be extremely hungry when they are released.)

541. Attend a lecture. Sit in the front row, central seat. Rest your chin on your hands and stare at the lecturer's ear. Smile. Continue to do so throughout lecture. Partway through, pull out a large knife and start flipping it into the air and catching it. Keep staring and smiling. Fumble. Keep staring and smiling. Repeat as necessary.

542. Go to Wales (Britain). Find out all the Londoners who own weekend homes and holiday cottages in Wales, and burn their London homes flat in one night. Should do wonders for the local economy.

543. Help build the M25 Canal (M25: Car Park encircling London). Use C-4. To help promote the image of an official council worker, do it during rush-hour.

544. Get some friends and lots of explosives. Dress up like office workers and demolition engineers. One is now from the Ministry of Transport, one from a major car company, one from a petrol company, one from the Ministry of the Environment, etc. Argue about the merits of various forms of transport. Punctuate counterpoints by blowing up rails, roads, etc.

545. Use the Norwegian whaling fleet to ram and sink the Japanese whaling fleet.

546. Float a high-explosive whale with a remote detonator. Let the fleets haul it on board...

547. Tell the world that there are too many babies being born. Demand a limit of two per couple. Enforce your ruling with a chainsaw.

548. Say fraud is now a capital offense. Begin executing Councilors, Senators, lawyers, etc.

549. Find something really threatening and demand the return of all gerbils and fish to their natural habitats.

550. Fleshcraft a bunch of weightlifters into looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Dominate them into hunting down everyone with the last name of Conner. Make a few more and have them protect the Conners.

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